Jokes From Shaf
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April 22, 2025
Update 1191
Next Update
May 20, 2025
(off for vacation in Europe)
ELON MUSK UPDATE
A: Midrash
Q: What is a middle east skin disease?
A: The Gaza Strip
Q: What is an Egyptian Belly Dancer?
A. A classroom, a Passover ceremony & a latke.
Q What is a cheder, a seder, and a tater?
A. Sofer
Q. On what do Jews recline on Passover?
A. Babylon
Q. What does the rabbi do during some sermons?
A. Kishka, sukkah & Circumcision.
Q. Name a gut, a hut and a cut?
A. Tzitzit.
Q. Name a disease carrying Mediterranean fly.
A look at some of the best Jewish Stand-Up comics every week on the
Jewish Jokes Page, so take a listen as The Chairman brings you this
weeks Kosher laugh fest...
And today's Jewish Joke, shows you some of what you might see on a show called, "Jewish Jeopardy"...
With all the submissions The Chairman gets each day, this topic is the most popular.
With this in mind, we now have a category which features "The Jewish Joke of The Day".
April 22, 2025
George Burns was born Nathan Birnbaum on January 20, 1896, in New York City, the ninth of 12 children born to Hadassah "Dorah" (née Bluth; 1857–1927) and Eliezer Birnbaum (1855–1903), known as Louis or Lippa, Jewish immigrants who had come to the United States from Poland.
His father was a substitute cantor at the local synagogue but usually worked as a coat presser. During the influenza epidemic of 1903, Lippe Birnbaum contracted the flu and died at the age of 47. Burns, called Nattie or Nate at the time, went to work to help support the family, shining shoes, running errands and selling newspapers.
When he got a job as a syrup maker in a local candy shop at age seven, Burns was "discovered", as he later recalled:
We were all about the same age, six and seven, and when we were bored making syrup, we used to practice singing harmony in the basement. One day our letter carrier came down to the basement. His name was Lou Farley. Feingold was his real name, but he changed it to Farley. He wanted the whole world to sing harmony. He came down to the basement once to deliver a letter and heard the four of us kids singing harmony. He liked our style, so we sang a couple more songs for him. Then we looked up at the head of the stairs and saw three or four people listening to us and smiling. In fact, they threw down a couple of pennies. So I said to the kids I was working with: no more chocolate syrup. It's show business from now on.
We called ourselves the Pee-Wee Quartet. We started out singing on ferryboats, in saloons, in brothels, and on street corners. We'd put our hats down for donations. Sometimes the customers threw something in the hats. Sometimes they took something out of the hats. Sometimes they took the hats.
One of the Burns brothers' first regular gigs was operating the curtains at the vaudeville and nickelodeon theatre of Frank Seiden, father of Joseph Seiden, who later became a Yiddish film producer. Burns started smoking cigars when he was 14.
Burns was drafted into the United States Army when the U.S. entered World War I in 1917, but failed the physical examination because he was extremely nearsighted. To hide his Jewish heritage, he adopted the stage name by which he would be known for the rest of his life. He later claimed that he selected the name George Burns because there were two active star professional baseball players with the name (George H. Burns and George J. Burns, unrelated), each of whom accumulated more than 2,000 hits and held some major-league records.
His first wife was Hannah Siegel (stage name Hermosa Jose), one of his dance partners. The marriage lasted 26 weeks and occurred only because Siegel's family would not permit her to tour with Burns unless they were married. They divorced at the end of the tour.
Burns normally partnered with a girl, sometimes in an adagio dance routine, sometimes in comic patter. Though he had an apparent flair for comedy, he never quite clicked with any of his partners until he met Gracie Allen, a young Irish Catholic woman, in 1923. "All of a sudden", he later said, "the audience realized I had a talent. They were right. I did have a talent—and I was married to her for 38 years." Burns wed Allen in 1926.
Radio shows, TV, and movies followed as the team of Burns and Allen were big stars.
Here is a look at George Burns in action...
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